The unwelcome visitor.


Yesterday started out as a normal day.

I spent the day with my children, mostly cleaning up after them but hey, that’s quality time too. I did my homework, read some blogs, even read one about a mom living in Vegas and how she killed a scorpion in her home just the other day. Man, I thought, those things are gross. Thank God, I haven’t seen one of those yet. Hopefully never.

So picture this: I’m diligently cleaning my house like a good wife and mother, vacuuming the spiders, the cracks, the couch cushions, everything that can possible be vacuumed. I move on to the laundry area which is shared by the boy’s bathroom. I move the dirty clothes on the floor to vacuum between them and the floor. I moved the clothes bin just slightly so I could vacuum around that too.

THEN…

IT SLITHERS OUT FROM UNDERNEATH THE CLOTHES BIN!

What, you ask?

A DAMN SCORPION. That’s what.

I made it nice and big so you could feel what I felt. Your welcome.

 I let out a high-pitched scream and yell “SCORPION!!” in the hopes that someone would come running in and save me but there was just two unsuspecting children wondering what mom was screaming about now. I quickly sucked up that scorpion with the hose of the vacuum and proceeded to scream. I almost had a fricken panic attack. I was breathing heavy, getting dizzy, all because of this little nasty creature. With good enough reason.

Listen to this:

There are about 35 species of scorpions in Arizona, but only five or six in the Phoenix area, including our personal favorite, the giant hairy scorpion. All are venomous. All like to ambush their prey. None of them can survive my size 8 boot.

So, how the hell did he get in my house? Well, he probably walked right in the front door. They only need 1/16 th of an inch to wiggle their way through and they actually prefer temps in the 75-95 degree range. Our home is actually perfect for these bastards because our doors lack weather stripping, the kids leave plenty of food on the floors, and our home is nice and cool and moist. I feel so violated. Angry. I’m offended that this nasty thing made it’s way into my home–MY home. Like there isn’t enough outside for you, nasty scorpion!

I did some research and here are some tips I found on how to keep scorpions out of the house:

  • Switch your outdoor lights from white bulbs to yellow. Yellow light doesn’t attract bugs the way white light does.
  • Check your weather-stripping. If you can slide a business card under your weather-stripping, there’s enough room for a scorpion to wiggle through.
  • Caulk or otherwise plug the spaces where electrical, phone or waterlines enter your house. Ditto in the kitchen and bathrooms where pipes come out of the wall.
  • Clear away, or at least frequently move, woodpiles or any other stuff you might have stacked up near your house.
  • Don’t leave wet towels on the ground around a pool or spa. Conversely, if you want to catch scorpions, leave a damp towel on your kitchen floor overnight. In the morning, pick it up, with tongs or with gloves on, and see what came calling. GROSS!
  • The redwood bark some folks use as mulch looks nice on flowerbeds, but it’s a scorpion magnet. If you’re digging around it, wear gloves and keep your eyes open.
  • Lastly, MOVE! Move back to Colorado where there are only bears, deer, elk, and mountain lions. I can handle those. The scorpions, no way, no how, no thank you!

One last little tidbit of information, do not reach into dark spaces and always knock out your shoes before you put them on. Rumor has it, scorpions don’t need to eat for up to 9-12 months so all that time they could be curled up in a casually worn sneaker. Double yuck.

And, if you’re the courageous type, you can purchase scorpions already dead in lollipops all over the Arizona desert. My experience with this is that scorpions know a form of revenge and payback and will visit you if you consume their brothers and sisters. Lesson learned. Mason.

20 thoughts on “The unwelcome visitor.

  1. Arghhhh! Noooo! I have a scorpion phobia. I would have totally freaked- good thinking with the hoover! I saw a documentary when I was in primary school where one crawled into a lady’s slipper while she was in bed. The next morning she put the slipper on and got stung. They’ve freaked me out ever since. And I’m a Scorpio!!

    How did you get rid of it?

      1. Eurghhhh!! The only thing worse than having a horrible thing like that in the house, is having a horrible thing in the house and not knowing where it’s gone! The worst we get are massive house spiders, but they still terrify me!

  2. Omg this Traumatized me and I don’t even live remotely close to scorpia- ville!! It’s an awful awful feeling to think that your home is being invaded by something… one time I was living in an apartment and when I came back from vacation there was a note under my door saying the neighbour had bedbugs. When you share a wall in an apartment building, it’s basically for certain you will get them too – They are like scorpians and don’t need to eat for 12 months at a time and when they are hungry they come out at night and suck your blood. VAMPIRES!!
    needless to say… I moved shortly after that. I couldn’t handle the psycological warfare. (Bedbugs 1: Emily 0)
    Don’t let them beat you : )

  3. This makes me REALLY glad I don’t live in Arizona. I hate hate hate spiders and scorpions take it to a whole new level. They are like land-crabs–or they look like that anyway. And I have to say, I’ve seen those suckers and I wondered what kind of mommas would let their kids have one. Just kidding!! :-) No, I actually wondered what kind of kid would actually WANT one. It’s a freakin’ scorpion!! Yuck!

  4. By the way, I have eaten one of those scorpion suckers… scorpion and all. They are pretty much disgusting.

    … as far as the food your kids leave on the floor, the scorpions aren’t coming in for that. They don’t eat our food, they eat other bugs.

  5. Thank you for visiting my blog! I was just thinking about scorpions this week…who randomly thinks about scorpions? I was thinking about how much I hate spiders, and all bugs really, but scorpions take the creepiness to a whole new level.

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